I have been trying to articulate how another human being could possibly not only read my internal monologue but also place words inside or “edit” it or make it “sound” like it’s me thinking of someone else speaking as themselves- as if I was able to participate in a conversation with another person using only my mind. The context of this seems to be showing other branches of a social context in a clandestine group clips and recordings of specific dialogue.
I have also experienced full body hot flashes that the person using my internal monologue takes credit for causing- often as a punishment or simply if they experience anger during the experience. The hot flashes have been affecting me for years, but I only started noticing someone manipulating my internal monologue about 6 months ago.
The person on the other side can also cause physical pain, often feeling sharp and electrical in nature in seemingly any part of the body. They can also control bodily functions such as ability to feel pleasure from sexual organs, the ability to urinate without a full bladder, the ability to pass gas or stool, the natural reward system of the brain, peripheral vision and balance, where the eyeballs focus and the ability to sleep. There have been multiple nights over the past few weeks where I’ve had to take Diphenhydramine to fall asleep. When the person on the other side is trying to interrupt sleep, it’s like a restless electrical buzzing feeling within the body.
They have over the course of months trained my brain to start mouthing words I think in my internal monologue so that they can tell the other people they are trying to convince that I am actually talking, not thinking. I wish I could figure out who they are trying to convince, because a 5-minute conversation to my face would dissuade any further conversation of me being a violent person or a criminal.
The methods used to achieve this level of manipulation and control are various. I feel like dissecting my death or capturing my perpetrators will be a lesson in science and history.
It’s almost as if the person on the other side has a full 3D visual representation of my environment and can tell the sex, hair color, height and rough age of people in the environment and describe them in my own internal monologue or pre-emptively force me to focus on them in the context of the greater show.
I am literally being forced to act in this game show, mouthing my own internal monologue being used by someone else, making hand movements and facial expressions of another person who is obviously orchestrating or directing. If you check camera footage of me before this started happening and at the places I frequent compared to now, it is obvious that something external is causing these effects. I sincerely need help, as this is all being done against my will without consent. The problem is, everyone in my life besides my partner wants to throw in their two cents and call it mental health. If only the authorities actually understood and believed in science, they could take a look at some of the measurements I’ve taken and start a dialogue.